Sing Your Song

So i just finished my orthopedics posting in HTJS about a month ago. so this is a really long overdue post. i'll try really hard to describe in words how i feel about the whole thing aite. before this whole thing started, i asked God to guide me and show me things i don't know (like how i do before any other posting) but i had a feeling that this posting will be somewhat different. maybe its because of my interest in bones even before medical school which only Evelyn, Anushinee and Dr Brian knows. I realized that i like what i studied and what i saw in the wards. but things took an even more interesting turn. When it was my turn to go to the operation theatre (OT) with Kova and Eunice, Eunice and Kova went to the major OT as Kova clerked the patient and Eunice has already seen a vacuum dressing in the minor OT. so i asked her to go to the major OT instead cause who doesn't wanna see a cool procedure going on right? i was a bit dissappointed inside as i wanted to ent...

Singapore trip summary: 1. Tuesday  Reached Woodlands. texted Eduardo to meet me at Yio Chu Kang MRT station. was worried i won't have enough money in my phone to call or money in my card to travel. came to Singapore with zero Singapore dollars. but fortunately, managed to catch a bus from Woodlands checkpoint to Woodlands MRT. then from there to Yio Chu Kang MRT. waited for him there. tired and full of heavy bags. after 10 mins of wait, he arrived. thinner than i expected. he looks almost as thin as grandpa. no hugs, no kisses like how Mexicans are suppose to greet each other, no handshake, nothing. just offered to help me carry my bags. and i thought, 'oh well, sigh'. i wonder how the next few days are gonna be like. reached his house... OHMYGOODNESS! 5 star hotel. feels like im in France or something. and i forgot to bring my swimsuit. he was pretty mad at me. 'it was THE ONE THING i asked you to do' he kept ranting. plus i didn't study much Spanish as i ...

I had the opportunity to be part of the Good Friday and Easter production in church this year. My first time being on stage in church other than on the worship team (literally) and I had the chance to see many different characters from a new perspective. Good Friday signifies Jesus' death on the cross for us. because we are all sinners, even a small white lie is a sin. so, we have to pay the price for our sins. whether its lying, or stealing, or murder, a price has to be paid. but Jesus loves us  so much, that he paid it all for us on the cross. the price of salvation is not cheap! it cost his life! let me tell you in all honesty, no one else would do that for you and me. The amount of pain and suffering he had to go through before dying was unbearable even for the people observing. Its not as easy as put a bullet through my head and die instantly. it is slow death. but he did it. for you and for me. all because he loves us.  Even after so many years watching the movie 'The...

Sorry for this delayed post. I know I should have blogged this earlier but I was too busy planning Wai Leem's birthday and also Chinese New Year. So thank you to my faithful readers for bearing with me. So where do I begin? People were planning for my birthday I know, thanks to some not really good actors :P When Luke called me to book me for my birthday, I was reluctant, fearing my friends would have something planned out for my birthday on the 20th night. so i just kinda asked him to confirm with Vish or Hannah. He still insisited he wanted to take me out on the 20th night. which was weird cause if you ask me, Luke is always more understanding than that. He always gives in. But i didn't think much about it. Then on Sunday night, James and Jason gave me my first birthday gifts. James even suggested that Jason, Joshua, Hannah, him and I go out on monday night for my birthday (good move, James) I didn't suspect a thing then. Then on Monday in class, everyone just wished ...

Words mean a lot. When it brings news, when it corrects, when it is spoken, or when it is written. I speak a lot (more than I should hahhah!) but what do I speak about?? When God speaks, we all hear. Why? because His words give meaning to life. God spoke to me a few months ago through my youth leader, pastor now. He said to me things that were reassuring and also things that didn't seem possible given the circumstance. One of the many things He said was, '' I am going to prosper your studies and whatever that you are doing, that was just the beginning.'' I went like, WHOA! first and foremost, I don't do well in my studies. My grades are just average. But next thing you know, I am mouthing out the answers to my lecturer's questions which I've never really done before. First question would be, where did my confidence come from? Second question, where did those answers come from? And when God told me that whatever I was doing was just the beginning, I got...

Ephesians 5:2 Let love be your guide. How many times have we done something because we do it out of love, and not out of duty? How often do we call home because we care and not because we have to? how many times we helped somebody because we love that somebody? Ephesians 5:4 Dont use dirty or foolish or filthy words. How filtered are our words? from what we speak, do people see Christ-likeness? do people know that we are prince and princesses from the way we speak? I personally realized at one time, i use the word s*** alot. maybe due to peer influence, but i didnt notice it until someone pointed it out. then that time, it got me thinking, is it okay to speak like that? a lot of Christians speak like that anyway. But it all boils down to.. what would people think? so the million dollar question is....... Do we need to care what others think about us? I already have my answer. what is yours? the answer is in the second part of the next verse. 'You can be sure people who behave th...

2013 was quite a bittersweet year for me. so many things happened. In 2013, I went to Langkawi and Ipoh and truly enjoyed myself and also in 2013, I was baptized in water which is quite significant for me. In 2013, I got close to people I didn't even think I have anything to talk about with. But the Lord has shown His faithfulness by seeing me through the storms of the year. In 2013, I've had major setbacks. Caused by myself mostly. Those are I wouldn't say things I can do without because each incident taught me something. I've learned new things about myself too! like how impatient and how unforgiving I can be. This year really put my patience to the test and my willingness to forgive was greatly challenged. I never knew it was THIS hard to forgive. the reason I didn't know it before was because I was never THAT deeply hurt. But amidst the commotion, God was always there to remind me that He forgave me although there were so many times I hurt Him. Proof of His love...

Never expected myself to finish a year of medical school (that is if i dont have to repeat papers of course) i guess everyone entered medical school with no idea of how hard it'll be (except for those who did a few years of 'research work' on the level of difficulty of medical studies) until we experience it for ourselves. But thank God for good friends who was willing to help me out and who stood by me throughout. Vish and I are just close that we can share just anything. He and I are just like 2 tall people needing each other for support. He is also the blur-case sotong who keeps misplacing his things and he'll be like an old grandmother who just got dementia looking for his things. Joshua Lee on the other hand is the annoying lil brother who can stop shooting me in my face. but it does feel different with him around. wish he could be everywhere and anywhere at anytime. and i still remember the pathetic look on my face whenever he oversleeps and couldnt get up. eve...

Being to an annual dinner is quite a big thing for me I would say. probably cause i've never been to one. but I hardly prepared for it anyway. No specific reason- just dont think all the hassle is necessary to begin with. So, boldly i went without makeup and just tied up all my hair cause i cant think of any other way i can style my hair prepared to look like the odd one out without makeup as i'll look really blunt beside any girl who has makeup but it turned out fine at the end. and the good thing is- i dont need to remove makeup when i get back. i think thats how i'm gonna go for the next few annual dinners ;) When asked for feedback from some of the girls, most said they wouldnt wanna go again next year. i guess when they do so much to prepare for the annual dinner and when the dinner didnt turn out as they expected, it does get a bit disappointing. I on the other hand, didnt prepare as much so i dont feel disappointed at all. i really did enjoy myself with the food ...

I realized i have one weakness which i noticed only after a series of card signings. once i dont know how to answer a question, no point asking me any other questions already, because I wont know the answer. my mind will straight away be blank after i realized i couldnt answer one question. I know that is bad but that was what happened to me in matriculation too. i guess after studying so much and thought i would do well and when i dont, i get really tensed. Oh God, help me overcome. I need you more than ever now. I dont wanna run away again. i wanna face my fears but with your strength, not my own. I just wanna rest in you. help me stay focused!

I was thinking about how the statement 'YOUR JOY IS MY STRENGTH' works. It never occured to me that its actually that simple. I have always been struggling with giving my life, surrendering whole heartedly to HIM. even until now. there are some things which i cannot bring myself to give up or let go. Some things which i hold too dear. I remember a story my friend once shared. It is a story of a girl who wanted a beautiful necklace she saw in a shop. She worked so hard to earn enough money to buy that necklace. When she bought it, she was sooooooooooo happy beyond words. nothing can take the necklace away from her. Until her dad came and said, ''Darling, could you hand over your necklace? to me? your father?'' She was of course VERY RELUCTANT. but in the end, she did. and when she handed over the necklace to her father, her father took out a box. Inside the box contains another necklace of similar design and structure, only this time, this necklace is REAL! its ...

As i finished a chapter of anatomy so late at night, or so early in the morning, I felt a sudden urge to WORSHIP  so i closed the book before proceeding to the next chapter and got up of my seat and started singing praises to HIM. The more i sing, the more i sing. this lead on to more singing. song after song i feel his presence overwhelm me. and i knew He was here. Immediately i asked for forgiveness. In brokenness i seeked for His grace and mercy and presented to HIM my requests, mainly for CF in Perdana University. My heart felt heavy as we have been stagnant for the past few months. well, thats how i felt, at least. we need a REVIVAL! REVIVAL! is what we need. going deep into the roots. Many have been far. they want to return but they cant seem to find the path that leads them back to HIM. But GOD knows. That is when i come into the picture. I am a FRIEND to them. A friend that is to guide and lead them with the HOLY SPIRIT leading me. TIME TO STEP OUT FROM COMFORT ZONE I t...

I feel terrible. Terrible is just the word to describe it. I have never felt worse on a Christmas day. Christmas has always been sweeeeeet for me! Up till this year. 1.        I have to STUDY! during Christmas 2.        We didn’t have open house this year 3.        We didn’t have church service on Christmas! What?? Yea. So we went to Full Gospel Church 4.        Everyone is just in a bad mood 5.        We didn’t go give presents to bless the people at the nursing home 6.        Had a tiff with my brother (as usual) 7.        Even decorating the Christmas tree seemed dreadful 8.        I REALLY SHOULDN’T HAVE CAME BACK FOR CHRISTMAS The only good thing was the fact that I received more Christmas greetings and wishes than I exp...

This week is the last week of semester one before the 3 weeks holiday and then MAJOR exam! how has this week been for you?  This week has been quite a bad week for me. wanna know why? here it goes. Ever felt disappointed? ever felt like you're being taken for granted? I did. I JUST did. i'm glad at least i have that experience of being taken for granted, rather than being like a lamb not knowing anything, then come walking into the lion's den.  Sometimes, i expect a lot from others because i did the same for them and i thought its only natural that they do the same for me. but i was wrong. Not everyone is as concerned. Not everyone is considerate, not everyone thinks about me, not everyone thinks for me. that made me really sad. i was sad, disappointed, angry. i felt like just giving up. I dont like the idea of being taken for granted, the idea of being invisible, the idea of playing any side role. Since young, i am always given the limelight by my parents, my fa...

Year 2012 is going to be history! what have i done this year? This year has been a year of the clear display of God's plans for my life. I had great plans for myself about how i'm going to spend the next year and how i'm going to lead my life and about who my friends are going to be. but the Lord has a bigger picture. He has a greater purpose for me. Skills I developed this year: 1. I never knew i can accept people who get on my nerves! people who just piss me off with certain things they do. selfish or inconsiderate or just plain annoying. but I've learn to embrace them as they are. Yes, i might dislike some things of them but if i cant do anything about it, I just have to learn to love them and pray for them. which is quite a hard thing to do. Cause, I have never acted in this manner. Praying for those i really dislike? ahhahha. so not my thing. But the Lord has taught me to love them even more as they are more in need than i am. Really thank God for such a skill...

Everyone says its important to keep a blog, and so here i am. publishing my first blogpost for viewing.  Just for updates, I am currently pursuing my medical degree,  at Perdana uni, the place i wanna be  So keeping up with the paces is not easy as it seems  but i really hope i'll be able to live up to my dreams  Hahahah! how does that sound for a start?  Till then :)